Job Vacancy

Oh my god! Check this out: Jonathan Ross to Leave BBC.

The BBC's No 1 film reviewer isn't renewing his contract! He's leaving! I'm no
mathematician, but that means that they are one film reviewer short. Anyone
know any good film reviewers who are currently in need of work? Well I can
only think of one, and that's me!

From every possible angle I can think of, it makes 100% sense for the BBC to
employ me to fill the role: I'm unemployed, am a film reviewer, have watched
hundreds of films and am happy to watch more films. Sure, I've never actually
presented a show before, but I've given evidence in court, which is practically
same thing.

Dave's mum said I should definitely write to the BBC for a job, (but probably
not for this job though) and to get one of the people at the clinic to give me a
hand with the letter. Pffft! To be honest the people at the clinic mostly just tell
me my ideas are wrong or that 'maybe I should do something less violent', so
why should I get them to help me? I'll write it myself, that'll rub that exasperated
look of Hermione's stupid face.