Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Oh look! I'm not reviewing a film!

Oh I suppose I have to review films EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE DAY do I? I guess I'd better stop eating and sleeping then because that's impossible.

Quick question: What's Jonathon Ross up to right now (08:51 Tuesday morning) eh? Do you think he's reviewing a film? Do you? Cinema's don't open until at least 10am so clearly he's not you retard. He's probably in his limo, on his way to work. UNLESS he's got a cinema in his car. But just think about that; a cinema in a car? Where would the projectionist sit? In the boot? He'd suffocate and probably and die if it was a hot day. Do you honestly think Jonathon Ross would lock somebody in the boot of his car and potentially kill him, just so he could have a cinema in his limo? Maybe if it was Michael Barrymore, but since when is he a film reviewer?

And what about when Jonathon Ross was presenting his TV show? Was he reviewing films then? I mean 'Friday Night with Jonathon Ross' and not 'Film 2010', obviously. Not as far as I could see.

If my film reviews are so 'poor' then why do I have a blog with FOUR GENUINE FOLLOWERS and as far as I can tell by searching the web you have NONE? Oh and let's have a quick look here shall we? Looks like a successful comic, speller and Miss New York Traditional Foods Jennifer Dziura knows a film review when she sees one. So good in fact that she decided to put it on her blog. Not that you could copy her, what with NOT HAVING A BLOG OF YOUR OWN? They don't just let anyone write blogs you know.

Do you know what? I was going to review a film today, but I'm not, because nobody tells me what to do.

You've messed with the wrong film reviewer (that's right, I'm a film reviewer) this time.

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