Friday 14 May 2010

Love: What's it like?

A couple in love.

FACT: I'm dating the world's most beautiful woman.


FACT: You're not.


Now not everyone finds love in their lifetimes. Some people marry ugly people, some marry old people for money and some just don't get married because they just keep screaming and screaming and screaming until some security guards barge in and demand to know why you've got a camera in the women's changing rooms. Since when has owning a camera been a crime? And if they don't tell you which changing rooms are for men and which ones are for women then clearly Dorothy Perkins are to blame for any misunderstandings that happen in their shops. Why don't you take YOURSELVES to the police station and save the rest of us the bother?

Seeing as most of you will never know true love like I do I've decided to share a typical, romantic conversation, like the sort I have with Natalia all the time on MSN. I'm sure she won't mind and I need something to take my mind off the bloody nonsense I have to go through just trying to get a loan. Banks eh?

NeonStudXXL - Hello my lovely baby how are you?

Natalia1181 - Who this?

NeonStudXXL - It's NeonSamurai. Your fiance.

Natalia1181 - From England?

NeonStudXXL - Yes my darling it's me.

Natalia1181 - Good. You have money?

NeonStudXXL - I will have it soon sexy baby. How are you tonight? What are you wearing?

Natalia1181 - Sexy clothes. When you have money?

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>Snip< I won't post all of our conversation, it will upset those of you not in love

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Natalia1181 - What is SAS?

NeonStudXXL - They're like Russian Spetsnaz only better.

Natalia1181 - SPETSNAZ SHIT ALL OVER SAS. I COME TO ENGLAND I FIND YOU I SHOW YOU JUST WHAT SPETSNAZ CAN DO!

NeonStudXXL - ?

Natalia1181 - I love you.

NeonStudXXL - Love you too honey baby.

Natalia1181 - I must go now. I have to dig rocks in coal mine.

NeonStudXXL - Okay honey baby, I'll soon have the money and bring you to England.

Natalia1181 - You'd better.

NeonStudXXL - BYEEEEE!!!!!


So that's what love is like. I have to go now as I've got a meeting with the bank manager about my loan. Fingers crossed!

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