Friday, 21 May 2010


If any of you are looking to employ someone on a big salary (say £100K+, although I am willing to negotiate if the benefits are good), then please have a look at my CV. Alternatively please print out a few copies and distribute them around your local businesses. I forgot to mention that I'm an 'ideas man' so if you're looking for some good ideas for your company, then I'm your man.

I also got a phone call from Hermione's 'life partner' Baakir last night. To be honest I thought he was going to kick off as well but he started off in a really polite manner. He said he was very sorry about Hermione, but she's been under a lot of stress as she's been organising a meeting for the 'Oppressed Women of the South of England and the Isle of White' and my comments the other day just set her off. He also said she's not normally a violent person and is really kind and caring, so he hopes that I won't feel the need to press charges as they can't afford her to be off work at the moment as he stays at home to raise their children.

As most of you are aware I'm not a petty man, so I of course said that it was water under the bridge (I got more injured the first time I tried proposing). Also as a peace offering I said I'd love to come along and give support at the meeting Hermione's been arranging. Baakir sort of mumbled that he didn't think that would be a good idea, and I could hear Hermione in the background yelling at him, so I guess that she does want me to go.

Either way I'll surprise her. Me turning up out of the blue is bound to make her look at me in an entirely different light and hopefully get me a great job.

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