Tuesday, 11 May 2010
That's right 'ladies' the competition to win a date with me is over. It has ended and you've all lost. You had your chance to enter and you all blew it through either ineptitude, laziness or because you can't speak English. Those are your problems, not mine. And guess what? Your failings cost you a free meal, sex and possibly bus fare home (depending on location).
But I honestly could not care less, because I'm in love.
You see, love transcends all nationalities, languages and psychiatric problems, which is why I will be marrying the beautiful Natalia Tarasov, probably next month when I've got my loan confirmed. And yes, I know that those pictures on her website are actually of Angelina Jolie, but as she doesn't own a digital camera she had to find pictures on the internet, and Jolie looks the most like her (although apparently her hair is blonde and she's got bigger boobs).
Like all couples who fall in love we've got quite a funny story about how we met. I was on the internet doing some research and stumbled upon her website. What are to odds of that? There are literally billions of websites and I found hers. I've probably got more chance of being hit by a bus, than something like that happening. I read her description and pretty much fell in love right there, without even speaking to her! How amazing is that? So I emailed her and apparently I'm just the kind of man she likes, even after I sent her my photograph! So now we're in love.
She likes everything I like, as well as animals, dancing, singing and living in England, which I'm okay with. When you're in love to have to compromise, although I don't like dancing. I tried body-popping in Hale Leys once as a form of busking, when an ambulance turned up to deal with a 'seizure'. There were also some cops as well, but that was an unrelated issue concerning stolen underwear.
But Natalia is the main reason I've not updated my blog in so long, because I'll often spend hours talking with her on MSN and have got better things to be doing than posting reviews that this guy then rips off. I might start doing reviews again when we're married, but only because Natalia says that she enjoys reading them. In fact, she says that she might be able to get me a job working for the premier Russian film review magazine, because she knows someone there. The magazine is called Russian Film Magazine.
Unfortunately Natalia can't change her website to say she's engaged to me, since she lost her password, but she says she's 100% in love with me and will be flying over as soon as she has the money.