Friday, 12 February 2010

Strange Feelings

Neonsamurai's 'Brokeback Mountain' Review:

I thought this was supposed to be a Western, like 'Seraphim Falls'. It's not.

Hermione reckons that the competition in the Littlehampton Echo was actually for children, not adults. Yeah, like kids can write decent film reviews? Oh and apparently entering a competition isn't the same as 'looking for a job'. What if I'd entered a competition and won a million pounds? Would I need to find a job? Erm... No. I wouldn't because I'd be rich.

Oh but what would I know, I'm not a Job Centre Co-Ordinator like Hermione, who seems to have an answer for everything and got very angry when I gave her a copy of my review as 'proof of job application'. The woman's mental.

It's like the time when I got confused and went in the ladies toilets at the Job Centre by mistake. I went into one of the booths and locked the door as you would normally and waited until a woman went into the one next to me, as I was leaning over the top to explain the situation she looked up and started screaming! Again: Mental. In the furore that followed somehow my trousers went missing and Hermione (who wasn't even there that day) insisted that I be charged with some sort of sexual attack. All because I got confused and lost my trousers. The woman's practically a Nazi.

If we now live in a country where a man can get arrested for not wearing trousers, even though he's got a perfectly valid excuse like a mugger took them or something then really I'd rather live in North Korea? When was the last time you saw a news report about a North Korean man who got arrested for indecent exposure? Never, and I'll bet men are always losing trousers over there. It's perfectly normal. Scotsmen don't even take the risk and wear kilts instead, but do the Police turn up at their Job Centres? No.

I really wouldn't recommend watching 'Brokeback Mountain'. It's not right.

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