Sunday, 28 February 2010

Dave's Movie Buzz - February 28

This is a new regular feature a bit like the one they do on IMDB, only better because my friend Dave has contacts with the mafia and they tell him all sorts of things that happen in Hollywood, which other less professional movie blogs are too scared to publish. But not here at

Dave was in a special forces unit called Team Extreme which is a bit like the SAS, only the soldiers in it are much harder. His call-sign was 'Cassanova' because he was the guy who got all the ladies, but he was highly respected by his team, even though he broke the rules and didn't listen to authority.

Dave’s Movie Buzz - Feb 28 2010

All money Hollywood makes is larndered by the Mafia. I’ve got conections with organized crime so I know what’s going down in the movie business.

Angelina Jolie adopts orangutang. Jolie adopts loads of kids from all over the world so shes now adopted an orangutang as a baby. Shes called it Monkey Jolie and it has its own room, car and butler. She reckons he’s gonna be a spokesman for the rainforest.

Harrison Ford is revealed as a woman. After loads of years pretending to be a man a bloke I know said that Harrison Ford is actually a woman. Aparantly, Ford went for the ordition for princess Leer in Star Wars but Steven Speelburg said he looked like a man, so he just decided to pretend becaurse she needed the money. He’s married to that bloke who played Chewbecka.

Jet Lee got beaten up by a man at my pub. Jet Li was getting all gobby round the back of Hale Leys with a group of girls, probably because he rekons he’s like ninja master. So this bloke clocked him one. Smacked him right up! Li didn’t know what hit him and legged it down towards McDonalds. So the girls were all over this bloke. So who was he? I can’t tell you ‘cos the cops will try to nick him.

Winona Ryder goes mental. Winona Ryder went mental in some posh shop in America and started screaming and flippin out like she was on fire or somthing. Ryder then starts throwing ass these really expensive shoes at the staff and put one woman in a coma. This blokes sister in law saw it and she was so freaked out by it she needed a sit down. You won’t see it in the news ‘cos Hollywood hushed it all up.

Choon in for more movie buz next week and if I can be arsed I write some more stuff.

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