What the HELL does the Littlehampton Echo think it's doing? Read this:
Under 12? UNDER 12? A film review competition only open to people too young to even buy pornography? What kind of dullard thought that up? And why didn't they mention it on the front of the paper, rather than halfway through the competition details? It took me a whole weekend to write that film review, and I could have spent that time doing something much more constructive, like helping my neighbours move house.
Not that they'd actually accept my help. Not since my 'hiding in the boot of Lorraine's car' prank caused so much fuss. Can nobody take a joke these days? Oh but I bet if I was under 12, it would have been funny. Everyone would have had a good laugh about it. Ha ha ha! Yes a 12 year old with a hockey mask jumping out of the car boot is soooo funny. Lorraine wouldn't even give me a lift home and I only live next door! I had to walk sodding miles as it was the middle of nowhere. Lorraine and Matt were a lot more friendly when they first moved in.
That's what I could have been doing Littlehampton Echo, I could have been helping people, rather than writing film reviews for your stupid newspaper. Well I hope you're happy with yourselves. Rest assured I shall never read your newspaper again, and I also encourage my readers to follow suit.