WTF (x 2)?!?!?!

What in the name of Hitlers ring-piece does the Echo think it's doing? Firstly they promote a competition with scant information on the rules, engineering it so the few members of the 'elite' under 12 film review society (which must number about five) can enter. They then declare Emily Stephenson the winner of this tuppeny-ha'penny charade that claims to be a competition!

She's not even a proper film reviewer, she's a sodding wannabe vet! AVET! What's next? Are we going to see plumbers writing opinion columns or maybe hairdressers running the classifieds? I've read her review and it was rubbish. It wasn't edgy or engaging, and you certainly didn't come away afterwards having your very way of life challenged (THAT'S RIGHT GOTHS, DRACULA WAS A RETARD. YOU DON'T SCARE ME), in the same way that my reviews do. Hers was, at best, pedestrian and she won a trip to Disneyland. I WANTED TO GO TO DISNEYLAND.

Let's cut to the chase here; she won because she's cute, and she's got a duck. I can take the truth and maybe if the Echo had said "hey Neon. Brilliant review. Yes that fox was a selfish spaz, and his wife did look like a men's club's bog brush. But you know what? We wanted the winner to be cute and holding poultry", I'd have been cool with that.

They didn't though, did they? The bastards.

But it's not the Echo I feel sorry for, it's Emily 'the Vet' Stephenson. Imagine if she read this article and thought "hmm... Maybe I could do what Jonathan Ross does and present 'Film 2010'" and so she writes in the to the BBC, only for them to completely ignore her letter. BOOM! There goes her childhood right there. BANG. Destroyed in a second because someone at the Echo (probably Sonja Wade) decided she'd let a child think she could write a film review.

WRONG!

Face it Littlehampton Echo, your publication is on the rocks and if your readership was in jeopardy of leaving imagine how they're going to react when they read this.