Dave's Movie Buzz 150310

Dave has sent this weeks 'movie buzz' to me via text, so I'm having to guess at what some of it is supposed to mean, partly because he never switches off his predictive text. Dave was originally going to be the lead racing driver for the 'Arrows' team, but since he has to give 6 weeks notice at the bus station they gave the job to Damon Hill instead. All information here is genuine because it came from the mouths of criminals.

Dave's Movie Buzz.

Jason Stepney making Train Spotter 4: I'm pretty sure there's no film-star called 'Jason Stepney', but I'm not about to question anything Dave tells me. Neither am I familiar with the 'Train Spotter' film series, but if they're making number 4 then it must be very popular with train fans.

Corrie Actors Dead: The whole cast of 'Coronation Street' died from a drug overdose. Doesn't surprise me. Actors are always getting drunk and taking drugs. Besides, 'Coronation Street' is rubbish.

Linday Lohan kills tramp: I'm assuming this is what Dave meant. It wasn't very clear in his text, but I suppose it's plausible. Many film stars are so rich and powerful that they can pretty much do what they want. Dave once told me that Paul McCartney was going to pay him £20,000 if he'd let his late wife chase him through the streets of Bedford, armed with a sniper rifle. Kind of like an urban fox hunt, but with a man as the quarry. However, when MCartney found out that Dave was ex-special forces he reneged on the deal. He was worried that the hunted might become the hunter.

Tom Crude lank tub 4U in move knife + dank U twit Alan Monday: I've no idea what this was about so I just posted exactly what Dave's text said.

Hopefully there'll be some more of Dave's Movie Buzz next week, providing Dave doesn't get really drunk again and start wanting to play cowboys.