Friday, 12 March 2010
As regular readers will know, I'm an open-minded guy who tends to take everyone at face value (NOT YOU JAVIER, YOU'RE A DICK), and I'm willing to accept that we all make mistakes. But what I will not stand for is blatant lying, and like my friend Dave who has the ability to 'scope' a sniper at a thousand metres, I can spot a liar a mile off (which is a figure of speech, not an exact measurement).
So imagine how angry THIS made me.
Ask Shamu? ASK SHAMU? Shamu didn't answer those questions, (unless I'm confused and Shamu is actually a person. But let's be honest, would you call your kid Shamu? It's a worse name than 'Mo' Nique' and sounds like a hair-care product).
Now understand, that I'm not getting angry just because Shamu is a killer whale like 'Free Willy', but because basically somebody is pretending to be somebody they're not. In this case they're pretending to be a bloody-great underwater killing machine. Does anyone reading that website actually believe that those are the answers given by a real orca? If you asked a killer whale any of those questions you definitely wouldn't get a coherent answer:
Q: Why is a killer whale called a killer whale?
A: "SQUEEAAAK! SQUEEAAAK!"
Q: Is the killer whale really a killer?
A: "SQUEEAAAK! ROOOOAAAAAAR!
Q: CHRIST! MY ARM! ARRGH... GLUB! GARGLE!
DON'T DENY THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN DEREK PALMERS BECAUSE IT DAMN WELL WOULD.
So although I'm not actually reviewing a film today I think it's equally important to tell people that just because something is written on the internet doesn't mean that the person (or black and white carnivorous behemoth) who wrote is actually who they say they are.
Update: Still no twitter response from @Nikolekidman, who apparently 'love Act'.