Monday 22 March 2010

No More Heroes Anymore

Neonsamurai's 'Tim Lovejoy's Football Heroes' Review:

Well this wasn't what I'd expected. I enjoyed 'Shaolin Soccer' and thought that this was more of the same. It's not. It's just Tim Lovejoy interviewing some pensioners and showing lots of stock footage of boring football matches. Sure, it only cost me 99p from Scope, but I was at least hoping for some kung fu action or some back-flips. If Tim Lovejoy had lunged across the room and chopped Jimmy Greaves across the throat I might have enjoyed it.

Lovejoy: "I've got one last question Greavesie and that's... HIYAAAAAH!"

Greaves: "URK!... GACK!... Windpipe..."

But he didn't.

Now normally this sort of thing would make me VERY angry, because to me a 'hero' is somebody who uses violence to beat somebody up who basically deserves it. But I decided to look up the word 'hero' just to see if there are any other uses for it. Here's what I found:
1. a man distinguished by exceptional courage, nobility, fortitude, etc.
2. a man who is idealized for possessing superior qualities in any field
3. (Myth & Legend / Classical Myth & Legend) Classical myth a being of extraordinary strength and courage, often the offspring of a mortal and a god, who is celebrated for his exploits
4. the principal male character in a novel, play, etc.
Notice how I have highlighted point number 2. A man who possesses superior qualities in any field. So I guess that Tim Lovejoy is correct and that these men who were really good at football can technically be called 'heroes'. But then I'm one of the best film reviewers around (probably best in England, for sure) so I guess that would make ME a hero. A film review hero.

I'm also sort of the principle male character on this blog, so it sort of counts twice.

Anyway I'm not going to give 'Tim Lovejoy's Football Heroes' an oscar, because it's not very good, and the storyline is weak.

Besides, since I got my new DVD player I've got better things to be doing than Writing DVD reviews.

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